Sharing a deeply personal essay over at Fathom Mag about fertility, infertility, and the loss of my father last November.

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“I can’t fathom how a life with children would work out for us, mostly because in every other aspect of life I can’t know what the future holds. But I also can’t imagine a life without children. I want our family to grow larger, I want to grow old with children we’ve raised. I want to teach a little one how to cook and garden, how to love our neighbors, how to forgive. I’d very much like to do so with the certainty that I will be ok, my husband will be ok, our children will be ok, and the world we bring them into will be ok. 

In the same breath I ache with longing to be with child, and also sigh relief that I am not yet.”

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Read the full essay over at Fathom Mag.

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