As I stood there I heard a voice behind me say “Bess!” I turned around and there was Wadasuuq. He’s a boy that I know from the drop in center last year. Every so often he comes to the center and stays for two or three days then goes back to the streets. I hadn’t seen him for a couple of months. The name Wadasuuq literally means “son of the market.” So, I’m fairly certain that isn’t his real name. Once he told me his name was John, but he has a penchant for lying so who really knows. He’s slightly not quite right in the head, likely as a result of being super addicted to glue, but a really funny kid. Super ornery and all the other boys like him.
So I shook his hand and said “Hey! Wadasuuq! Where have you been?” He said “Around.” Said he was well. Then his friend came over and asked me for money and Wadasuuq was like “No, dude, I know her.” Then he said bye and they sauntered off just as a bus pulled up. As I settle into my seat I’m like “Beth, stupid!” There was a little restaurant just up the road and they must have been hungry. WHYYYY didn’t I have the clarity of mind to think of this and buy them some freaking dinner? Why don’t I think more quickly on my feet? I have this two-minute-too-late regret all the time about things I should have said or done. I can spit a sarcastic comment like it’s nothing but it seems like it takes my brain longer to come up with nice things.
So I’m kicking myself. Praying for a mind that works faster and a heart open to the nudgings of the Spirit. I can hope and pray that the situation repeats itself and I get another opportunity but things never seem to work out that way. I feel like in life you rarely get to redeem yourself the way you would like to. Give those boys food this night, Lord, and forgive me that I wasn’t the one to do it.