There was one day that I was studying Arabic at home and I got really excited about it. I love the feeling of learning, using, and remembering new words. But I generally don’t get that fluttery feeling of excitement inside. I just felt thrilled that I’m communicating in another language an the potential that is there for fluency. And I was just reminded how much I want to be here.
I do find that little emotional highs are often followed by some sort of low. I did end up in frustrated tears at one point this week. It was for silly things. But did serve as a reminder that I am in serious need of a mental/emotional/physical break from the desert. People have referred to the desert as a pressure cooker environment to live in and I have to say I agree. It’s not an easy place.
I like to think that I’m a tough cookie. But I was reminded this week that whatever strength I have, whenever I’m tough or strong or steady its from another source. I crumble on my own.
This line of work has a unique set of trials and sacrifices. Anyone who follows Christ has a host of them. Dying to self hurts and it’s hard. Especially when you’re not quite sure how to get it right. Where and when and how do life and work and worship and ministry and leisure and praise and people intersect? Why doesn’t the Bible have some sort of pie chart for that?
Just kidding, just kidding.
So we keep traveling on this road. Never getting it totally right, but headed in the right direction at least. With the joys and dips along the way. It’s all a gift. Great mercies, they all are.
“I will be to you what the sun is to the flower, what the water of the ocean is to the fish, and what the sky is to the birds.” Frances J. Roberts